There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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