How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

What does the average fishermen catch Fish

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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