what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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