Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Your Mom The End.

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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