What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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here kitty kitty

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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