What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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