Your mam is so fat.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

Whats black and red inside? A black guy

What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

He--Hey guys

why did the black guy die? cancer

A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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