Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

Hail Hitler

roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

A man walks into a bar

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

matt has ebola...funny right!?

How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

I put my baby in a microwave.

Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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