Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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- Helen Keller

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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HOLY COW!

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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