A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

THE GAME.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops