Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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What's big and long? My dick.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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