A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Hi

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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What's 2+2? Fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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