What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops