Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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