Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

HURT

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are violet,

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock-Knock Come in! ...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

an athiest walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops