How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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I like Pi. It can make circles.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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