What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Penis

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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