What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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Once upon a time a homeless man was walking down the street. He stopped suddenly and realized he didn't know how to read. So he walked to the library to find someone to teach him. A woman was sitting at one of the tables so the homeless man walked up to her and asked, "Can you teach me how to read?" The woman stared at the homeless man for a few moments. Then she replied to him saying, "Not until you take a bath." Realizing that he smelled awful and that his face was covered in dirt he nodded towards the woman and left to go find a shower house. The homeless man came upon a hotel and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me sir, may I take a shower here?" The receptionist gave the man a long hard look and said, "Not until you find a better set of clothes." The homeless man looked at himself and saw that his clothes were quite old and worn out so he left the hotel to find a clothing store. He finds a clothing store and asks an employee, "Sir, may I have a new shirt, pants, socks, shoes and a pair of underwear?" The employee quickly said in reply, "Not until you pay for them." The homeless man remembered that he indeed was poor and didn't have a penny to his name. So then he walks out of the store to go find a job and make some money. He happens across a storage facility moving many heavy boxes. He walks up to the supervisor and asks, "Pardon me sir, do you need any help with moving these boxes? If you can pay me a few dollars I will help you." The supervisor said to him, "Sure, start moving them to that unit in the corner there. So the homeless man worked until dusk, made $55 dollars, went back to the clothes store, bought new clothes, waked back to the hotel and took a shower, and finally walked over to the library where the woman was still sitting and learned how to read. He walked out of the library feeling accomplished and full of pride. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. He slipped on the curb into traffic and was hit by a car, dying on impact.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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