Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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What's hotter than a beautiful girl in a bikini? Among many things, the Sun, the Earth's core, the inside of a volcano...

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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What do you do if a black man throws a gernade at you? You take the pin out, and throw it back.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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