what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A sober Amy Winehouse

thumb_up thumb_down -3

did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

thumb_up thumb_down -3

where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops