I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops