What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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My love life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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