What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats yellow after cani...nathan

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

thumb_up thumb_down +8

do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops