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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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kk

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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HOLY COW!

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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