roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops