Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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What did the black guy say in the phone? Hello

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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