"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a black guy african american

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -8

. . I am a whale

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops