Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

Obama

What is the difference between John and John Nothing

how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

poop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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