Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops