Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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What's the difference between a white guy playing basketball and a black guy playing hockey??? There is none..they hardly get playing time!!

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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