How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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the story of the two kings, bourne and brendan They were numbercrunching hardcore one night in the hills of arathi basin when the mailbrethren gave them a message from the almighty rogue of orgimar. This rogue challenged the two kings, codenames as follows: bourne (hunt cair) and brendan (worgensRsick). obviously bourne was a ret pally and brendan was a holy priest, representing the alliance faction because they dont belive in the corrupt (actual quote from J3b, "the kitty slayer tauren"). The duel would take place in the arena of hyjal, a place where heat blows from below, and sucks hard. Hyjal was once a place where the almighty druids had meetings of total epicness and made love in the flowers. Of course, taurens were very attracted to the mentally ill cows, and created j3b's character, foulmeat. When the two kings arrived, the rogue was actually in stealth, a goblin subtley rogue of vast strength and agil. His resil rating was at an astonishing 89k rating. He made n00bs spooge over their keyboards. The epic duel began when the rogue sapped both kings and ambushed bourne. Bourne legacy was hurt badly and had 15% health. Brendan's step brother came in and surprised attacked the rogue and took him to half health. his name was dalyquestsbedone. But all of a sudden, the world of azeroth was sucked in by the depths of the maelastrom of deathwing, and everyone died. All the players relogged and did it all over again. ˜´??

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops