Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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