Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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