Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Hairdressers does it take to change a lightbulb. Usually one.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops