A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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Your sister's feet smell so bad people encourage her to go home and wash them.

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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What's cooler than living on the sun? Everything, because the sun is the hottest entity in the entire universe. Plus, who'd want to live on the sun?

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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