If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, and has two possible oxidation states, +2 and the slightly more stable +4. Tin is the 49th most abundant element and has, with 10 stable isotopes, the largest number of stable isotopes in the periodic table. It is a silvery, malleable other metal that is not easily oxidized in air, obtained chiefly from the mineral cassiterite where it occurs as tin dioxide, SnO2.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tilt your screen back

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops