Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

what are three short words? i a am

Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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