What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock The doors already open

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops