A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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