Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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