Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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i killed my family

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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