3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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Yo momma is So Fat? And isn't your cousin Chow Yun Fat? I think I know some of the Fat family. How are they all doing?

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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69

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops