-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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what did the dog say to the retarded black guy ? bark

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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