Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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