If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is more worse than death? Death

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sarah Palin

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops