How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

punchline below punchline above

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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