Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Knock knock Go away

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops