Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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