The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops