Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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What is the name of Steven Hawkins condom.... Anti virus

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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