What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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Sex vagina. lol.

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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mikey is cute

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because they are not

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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