Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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